Transcript: Tuna, Mayonnaise, Bread

Stump the Chef
Episode “Tuna, mayonnaise, bread”

Male announcer: One seasoned chef, three random ingredients, and three tough judges. It is time for Stump the Chef. Today award winning culinary chef Matt Weaver will set his culinary skills against his toughest opponent yet. Let’s see today’s random ingredients…
Female announcer: Canned tuna, mayonnaise, and sliced bread?
Male announcer: Now lets play Stump the Chef.
Matt: Mayo, tuna, and white bread, wow this is really hard. Well I am not going to take the easy way out, time to kick it up, we are going to go gourmet.
Male announcer: And he’s off.
Announcer 1: Back again in the Stump The Chef kitchen with a watermelon?
Announcer 2: He said gourmet and I don’t see how a watermelon fits into gourmet here.
Announcer 1: No idea, canned tuna, mayonnaise, and white bread it looks like he is dealing with the bread already laying that out on a cookie sheet I guess he is going to be making toast out of that, that is gourmet isn’t it?
Announcer 2: I guess so, all I have to say is he is really taking down that watermelon fast.
Announcer 1: That is incredibly impressive; it looks like he took the Tustin put in the food processor and making bread crumbs.
Announcer 2: Well I guess he is not making a sandwich, bummer dude. Holy smokes is that a bowl of watermelon juice?
Announcer 1: It seems that way; if not exactly sure what he’s doing here it seems like a whole lot of work just to get the juice out.
Announcer 2: Why is he putting in the blender?
Announcer 1: I am guessing he is just trying to get every last bit of pulp and seed out of their, you can see after he broke down the watermelon he strained it to get the seeds out and now he is running it through the blender. I have no idea what he has in mind but this is a lot of work for an ingredient that is not even one of his three main ingredients.
Announcer 2: Now he is straining it again.
Announcer 1: That is right, getting all of the bits and getting all of the pulp and all of the seeds out of there, I’m not sure what he has in mind but he has got my attention.
Announcer 2: You know a pitcher of kool aid would work just as well.
Announcer 1: Still no sign of the tuna and no sign of the mayonnaise instead we have got onion celery and red pepper being known into the sauté pan.
Announcer 2: Yes I believe that is a Cajun mere poi.
Announcer 1: That would make sense, you know a standard mere poi is carrot, celery, and onion I guess the Cajun using a lot of red pepper substituted the Carrot with that.
Announcer 2: They’re actually just deathly afraid of carrots, in fact after the Louisiana purchase Thomas Jefferson sent down scout troops with carrots on sticks, not to draw people to the location but to scare them away for settlers to come in.
Announcer 1: Wow history is fascinating.
Male announcer: Sorry to interrupt guys but is time for Matt’s tangent.
Matt: Tuna are warm blooded fish that are in constant need of oxygen, hence their red blooded appearance. They can only achieve this high amount of oxygen by swimming very fast and subsequently they have very large muscles. These muscles translate into lean, large steaks for the consumer. Half of the world’s tuna is consumed by two nations Japan and the U. S. Tuna is mostly sold as a precooked caned commodity, but is increasingly being sold as a steak from one of its four loins. My favorite way to eat tuna is raw at a sushi bar with a little bit of wasabi on the side, enjoy.
Male announcer: Meanwhile back in the kitchen.
Announcer 1: And it looks like Matt is leading the way to tuna town.
Announcer 2: And we’re all just along for the ride.
Announcer 1: Finally breaking out only the second ingredient today, he still has the mayonnaise to deal with. It looks like he is chopping up some cucumber there, preparing that for something.
Announcer 2: Well what ever it is, Matt said gourmet so it is going to be interesting at some point especially the watermelon juice that is kind of disappeared since he started out with it.
Announcer 1: That is true no sign of the watermelon, and no sign of the mayonnaise. He is working with the canned tuna I don’t see how he could possibly elevate this into something gourmet, you can see there he is dicing up some cilantro in he is putting the bread crumbs into the tuna, any ideas?
Announcer 2: Well it is commonly known that mayonnaise sucks the metal taste out of canned tuna; it is like kind of pulling poison out of a wound so without the mayonnaise in the mixture I don’t see how this could taste good.
Announcer 1: No sign of the mayonnaise but clearly it is going to play some part in this meal, no sign of the watermelon. You can see there he put some cucumber, mustard, the cilantro and egg, the bread crumbs all into this mixture. And little touch of salt, he is mixing that up now and prepping it for something clearly he has something good in mind.
Announcer 2: Well the road to tuna town is paved with good intentions.
Announcer 1: And then a startling move today Chef Matt Weaver has decided to fry something, I never would’ve expected that coming.
Announcer 2: Those look like cute little egg rolls.
Announcer 1: Yeah they actually do but they’re made out of tuna.
Announcer 2: You have to admit that they look a lot like egg rolls.
Announcer 1: They do look a little bit like egg rolls, you can see off to the side he has got that watermelon juice reducing down on the stove it is going to be interesting to see what he does with that. Do you think maybe he is making some sort of sauce?
Announcer 2: An aperitif maybe?
Announcer 1: No idea.
Announcer 2: Well what ever it is let me tell you it smells like a watermelon and fried fish candle, it is just awesome.
Announcer 1: Yeah, it is kind of awesome. Getting down to the wire here and Matt finally pulls out the third ingredient, the mayonnaise, filling up the food processor with it and he is putting the watermelon juice in there, it looks like he is going to be making a watermelon based aoele.
Announcer 2: Well give me a straw, because I’m ready to take that down myself.
Announcer 1: He put in a touch of salt in there along with some Cayenne pepper, not exactly sure what he has in mind Matt why don’t you tell us what is going on here to day?
Matt: Well these three ingredients pointed to a very specific direction but instead of a sandwich I am making a gourmet and somewhat risky entrée, I’m a little bit worried about the tuna. I mean it is canned tuna there’s only so much that you can do, but I am doing it and we will see.
Announcer 1: Matt is right, there’s not much that you can do with canned tuna.
Announcer 2: Except for to prevent heart disease jerk.
Male announcer: It is plating time.
Announcer 1: Starting off with the watermelon aoele, looks like he is brushing that across the plate for a very nice presentation.
Announcer 2: You know this is pretty interesting using a paintbrush to pay on the sauce.
Announcer 1: You know Matt is always pushing the boundaries of proper plating.
Announcer 2: I hope there is just no lead in the paint.
Announcer 1: You know that tune it is looking fantastic, nice golden brown crispy breading and fantastic smell here in the kitchen today. Sprinkling little chives on top of it and I think that is going to do it.
Announcer 2: I got lead poisoning wants we can talk about that later.
Male announcer: Looks good to me, but let’s see what our judges have to say about that.
Matt: Today gentlemen I was giving the classic ingredient for a tuna fish sandwich, tuna, white bread, and mayonnaise. So I have taken it to a gourmet level and I have breaded the tuna with the bread crumbs and fried it up. I have reduced the watermelon and mixed it with the mayonnaise and made a spicy watermelon aoele. I have tried in I loved it, I cleaned the plate, check it out.
Drew. So Matt I actually like this dish, I could taste all the ingredients and I’m actually not a fan of mayonnaise, but with the sauce with the hint of watermelon you actually can’t taste the mayonnaise, I would say that you passed.
Gilbert: That is really good Matt, I like that a lot and reminds me of a crab cake. The watermelon aoele, it is not too strong with watermelon but it does have a little kick and I really like the cucumber in there, it gives it a nice texture. I really like this one, you passed.
Flynn: This is good; it definitely takes talent to come up with something this adventurous with the plain sort of ingredients that you’re given. It is somewhere between an egg roll and a crab cake, I like it a lot you passed.
Matt: All right thank you, it is a good egg roll.
Male announcer: Let’s see the verdict. That belongs on a five star menu, Matt you passed.
Matt: Yeah I did, I made a really good dish and you know what most people don’t realize that they have got a gourmet meal waiting in there pantry. I mean look what I did with three basic ingredients and a little effort and imagination. I had fun and I hope you had fun, do not be afraid of the kitchen, see you next time.
Male announcer: That is it for this episode of Stump The Chef.