Transcript: Kid-Puter Korner - Sojourner Truth

Backpack Picnic
Episode “Kid-puter corner – Sojourner Truth”

Lid: Am I in the right spot? Can I use a chair? Is the squinting, is that bothering you? I can’t see anything.
Off camera: Can you not squint.
Lid: Hello Everyone I am Lid the Dragon Vance from Split Stream. You know people say you shouldn’t eat meals right before you go to bed. They say that it will make you fat, and I talked to my doctor about that and apparently that is a myth. Say it straight. Was that good?
Off camera: Yeah that was great thanks.
Lid: Great thanks.
Announcer: Lets all go to the kid-puter corner, at the intersection of, kids and computers. There’s a factory and lots of things to see. And here and read and telling the truth about Sojourner, kid-puter corner.
Marcus: Ha-ha sojourner truth, what an amazing woman. Huh, oh you can’t meet her she died in 1883. But she was a very important woman. You she Sojourner Truth was an abolitionist who planted the seeds of change.
Plant: Did somebody say planted the seeds?
Marcus: Got to go. I planted a seed. I planted a seed, just to see what comes out of the ground. I hope it’s a plant, I hope it’s a plant. Now all it needs is some water to grow.
Plant: Oh what the crap.
Marcus: You’re supposed to keep your head down until… ok wow baby seed; you just became a flower, rather quickly. I was just giving you some water, remember?
Plant: Ok, you didn’t actually use water yesterday.
Marcus: That was rehearsal. Uh we here at kid-puter corner like to conserve our resources.
Plant: I am about to conserve my patience with your bullcrap Marcus!
Marcus: Wow, this is an extremely smart baby flower boys and girls. Not only did it know my name but it knows about Bullcrap or cow manure which is extremely rich in nutrients and good for baby flowers to eat.
Flower: Ok that is not what I meant.
Marcus: Mmm Hmm, would you like some bullcrap baby flower?
Flower: No.
Marcus: Would you like some water then?
Flower: No.
Marcus: What will make you grow?
Flower: 35 bucks so I can pay off that parking ticket that I got the last time I came and helped you with your stupid podcast.
Marcus: You know what you want to try 35 kicks?
Flower: No baby flowers hate kicks.
Marcus: Really, what do you think boys and girls do you think 35 kicks will help this baby flower grow into a great big flower?
Kids: Yeah!
Flower: No little plants hate kicks. In fact kids, some baby plants if you kick them will find you after the show and beat the shit out of you.
Marcus: Sweet well I know I am not afraid of a baby flower. I say we give it some kicks and see what happens are you ready? 1, 2, 3. Ok, wow that flower grew from threats, did you see that boys and girls? Ok Brad stop that crap.
Flower: C’mon threaten me again! C’mon!
Marcus: Stop that. Oww!
And that is what happened this week on Kid-puter corner. Hope you had a blast and learned a thing or two. I know I did. We kind of got a little real here this week, a little honest. And that is just kind of the way we roll here at kid-puter corner. You know sojourner truth once said, look at me. Look at my arm. I have plowed and planted and gathered into barns. And no man could head me. And ain't I a woman. So I just want to apologize to Brad in front of everybody. I want you to know that I acted inappropriately and I should have warned you about the water again before we started today. And I wanted to give you this.
Brad: What did you just say?
Marcus: Paper cut.
Brad: What did you just say?
Marcus: Ow I got a paper cut.
Brad: Oh c’mon.
Marcus: I am done with you brad I am done.